Manny being Manny...sort of...

By CHRIS VILLANI

Wow.

That's what most baseball fans are saying this morning after the story broke in the LA Times that Manny Ramirez has tested positive for performance enhancing drugs and will be suspended 50 games. The suspension will keep him out until July 3rd and makes Manny the biggest star to be suspended under the MLB testing policy implemented in 2003.

This development is going to hurt the Dodgers (though Juan Pierre is hitting .355 in a whopping five starts this season), give Red Sox fans a chuckle, and take some of the heat off the soon-to-be returning Alex Rodriguez. But most of all this serves as yet another reminder that no one, and I mean, no one, is ever going to be free from the cloud of the steroid era.

I know, I am an unabashed Manny supporter and have been since the day he arrived in Boston and really even before that. I defended him against nearly everything on and off the field with very few exceptions. In this case, there is not much to say. Can any mother's child who calls his or herself a baseball fan really say they are surprised by this? Sure, few predicted it, which the exception of Jose Canseco, and how could they?

Manny is one of those guys. One those guys that can just play. Pujols, A-Rod, Griffey...Manny. These are the guys who just truly had a gift. Hard work over the years sure, but coupled with the native ability few possess. There was never an appreciable bump in any of their numbers, never a solid line of pre and post steroid use that you could draw in the sand like with Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens et al. These guys just hit, it's what they were born to do.

Now two of those guys has been tied to the thing that will define this generation. It shows us no one is above reproach. For everything we thought we knew about the make-up of a steroid user, we are proven time and time again we really don't have a clue. Need to bulk up big time like McGwire and Sosa and Bonds, right? Well, Clemens got thinner, Andy Pettitte never looked any different, and A-Rod and Manny were always big guys. Well, if they have a bump in stats, that should be a pretty good sign, no? See above.

The truth is we just don't know, we'll never know, and it's frustrating. But Pujols and Griffey still remain. I was won over by Albert's faith and high moral acumen and I would be very disappointed if it came out that he had used. Although he does have 11 home runs and 9 strikeouts this season, so I can't say I'd be shocked. No, for me Griffey is the guy. He was my favorite player growing up. I used to wear my cap backwards, much to the chagrin of my dad. I'd wear cut-off sleeves too despite my pipe cleaner arms. One winter my Christmas list revolved around Griffey autographed memorabilia. I loved the way he made everything look so easy, so effortless. Like the game was made just for him, rather than the other way around.

Learning that Griffey cheated would be the one thing left that would break my baseball heart. It would be like a piece of my childhood was taken and tarnished. I've grown somewhat grizzled in my own age and the steroid era hasn't taken the fun out of the game for me yet. I've learned not to expect baseball players, human beings, to be perfect or to be heroes. There's a sense of cold uncaring when it comes to finding out players used steroids, and I still appreciate what they've done and have argued all of them should be in the Hall of Fame someday if their numbers, enhanced or otherwise, merit such consideration. Maybe it's because I'm not a kid anymore and I know people make mistakes and are driven by the desire to compete and excel, even when it seems as though they've reached the pinnacle of their profession.

Or maybe it's because in my baseball mind, I'm still 12. Watching Griffey track down a fly ball in center field or send an inside fastball into the right field stands with that sweet swing. The game seemed pure to me, even as balls were flying out of the parks at record clips. Maybe Ken cheated, maybe he didn't. But from my perspective, I say stay clean Jr.

This baseball fan's love of the game may depend on it.
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